Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Let the Wife see to it that she Reverence her Husband

This seems to be a topic of mine that surfaces on an extremely regular basis! I seriously lose track of the countless times I meditate on this thing of reverencing my husband! I don't know about the rest of you, but reverencing my husband does not come naturally! In fact, we're told in Gen. 3:16 that the woman's "desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." Translated, it means that the woman's desire will be to rule over her husband. It is only by daily (sometimes minute-by-minute) seeking of the LORD's help that I can even attempt this thing of reverence!

(By the way, I prefer to use the word reverence instead of respect; respect means to have esteem towards, to think highly of- which I can do towards any man who is worthy of it. But reverence? ahhh...now that's a much deeper word. It means a feeling or attitude of deep respect tinged with awe, a feeling of profound awe and love- it's the awe that makes the difference).

I would venture to say that most of us could say we respect our husbands, but do we reverence them?

Reverencing begins in the mind! "The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart."- Lu 6:45
If we start by revering our husbands in our thoughts, it will soon spill over into our speech! But if we think of them negatively, a critical spirit or words will follow. WE CANNOT BE OUR HUSBAND'S HOLY SPIRIT!
I read somewhere a long time ago that we must give God the negatives and give our husbands the positives.

Practically speaking, how can we do this? How can we systematically exercise the command in Eph. 5:33?

Here's some things I have come up with:
*Release my expectations of what I think my husband should do or be to God
*LET him lead- it's OK if he makes mistakes
*Realize that he will never be perfect (look at myself, for pete's sake!)
*Encourage any and all attempts at spiritual leadership (did you know your husband feels very inadequate?)
*Make him KNOW and feel that he is my hero
*Praise him for his hard work and the money he provides for his family
*Actually, praise him for everything!
*Do not EVER be negative about finances; husbands take this personally
*Give him some space from my emotional chit-chatting
*Don't expect him to read my mind
*Let his home be his haven- do our husbands drag their feet about coming home because of the chaos & haggard-looking shrew they know they will find there?
*Being a content wife speaks volumes to our husbands
*LISTEN when he speaks; don't be so quick to jump in with my own comment or opinion
*Focus on what made me love him in the first place
*Stop focusing on what's "wrong" with him and find out what's wrong with myself
*Let him enjoy "guy" things without making him feel guilty that this somehow isn't "spiritual" (i.e.- football (fantasy or real), softball, bowling, fishing, tinkering, in fact, show an interest in whatever it is)
*Stop thinking that if only he would do this or that my problems would be solved
*Never, EVER, EVER belittle my husband in public
*Make him my best friend
*When something needs to be discussed, speaking the truth in love applies most of all to my husband
*Sex- the more, the better- need I say more? (ha, you thought I forgot!)

I'm sure there are many more. I've found it helpful to focus on one aspect that I believe I need to work on and just do that for a time.

"Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me, and I in him, he bears much fruit; for apart from Me you can do nothing". John 15:4&5

We cannot do the impossible without abiding in the LORD of the possible!

4 comments:

Kati said...

I was nodding wholeheartedly in agreement, Margaret, until you got to the fantasy football thing! :)

Yeah, "reverence" takes respect to a whole new level. Tough.

Jessi said...

great post margret! I as well was agreeing with all...i can say latley, i've TOLD him more wrong things than right (grimmace) notice i said "told"? yep. that's one of many mistakes! i do enjoy "reverence" BUT it's a lot more CONVICTING (grimmace again)and i will take you post as yet another wake up call, thanks again, sister!

Charity said...

After yesterday at moms' group, and reading this post (both of which were spot on), all I can say is . . . ouch. Carolyn Mahaney asserts that we need to make our husbands our #1 priority - even over our children. i need lots of accountability and prayer in this area!!

Margaret said...

believe me, charity, i know the challenge of putting husband first especially with 4 (or in my case 5) little ones! it's hard! is it any encouragement to know that it gets easier as the kiddos get older? our children are very familiar with this phrase: "your dad's the king, i'm the queen; deal with it!" :)
date nights are vital! nights alone are important! and we volunteer to babysit! :)