Let the Wife see to it that she Reverence her Husband

This seems to be a topic of mine that surfaces on an extremely regular basis! I seriously lose track of the countless times I meditate on this thing of reverencing my husband! I don't know about the rest of you, but reverencing my husband does not come naturally! In fact, we're told in Gen. 3:16 that the woman's "desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." Translated, it means that the woman's desire will be to rule over her husband. It is only by daily (sometimes minute-by-minute) seeking of the LORD's help that I can even attempt this thing of reverence!

(By the way, I prefer to use the word reverence instead of respect; respect means to have esteem towards, to think highly of- which I can do towards any man who is worthy of it. But reverence? ahhh...now that's a much deeper word. It means a feeling or attitude of deep respect tinged with awe, a feeling of profound awe and love- it's the awe that makes the difference).

I would venture to say that most of us could say we respect our husbands, but do we reverence them?

Reverencing begins in the mind! "The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart."- Lu 6:45
If we start by revering our husbands in our thoughts, it will soon spill over into our speech! But if we think of them negatively, a critical spirit or words will follow. WE CANNOT BE OUR HUSBAND'S HOLY SPIRIT!
I read somewhere a long time ago that we must give God the negatives and give our husbands the positives.

Practically speaking, how can we do this? How can we systematically exercise the command in Eph. 5:33?

Here's some things I have come up with:
*Release my expectations of what I think my husband should do or be to God
*LET him lead- it's OK if he makes mistakes
*Realize that he will never be perfect (look at myself, for pete's sake!)
*Encourage any and all attempts at spiritual leadership (did you know your husband feels very inadequate?)
*Make him KNOW and feel that he is my hero
*Praise him for his hard work and the money he provides for his family
*Actually, praise him for everything!
*Do not EVER be negative about finances; husbands take this personally
*Give him some space from my emotional chit-chatting
*Don't expect him to read my mind
*Let his home be his haven- do our husbands drag their feet about coming home because of the chaos & haggard-looking shrew they know they will find there?
*Being a content wife speaks volumes to our husbands
*LISTEN when he speaks; don't be so quick to jump in with my own comment or opinion
*Focus on what made me love him in the first place
*Stop focusing on what's "wrong" with him and find out what's wrong with myself
*Let him enjoy "guy" things without making him feel guilty that this somehow isn't "spiritual" (i.e.- football (fantasy or real), softball, bowling, fishing, tinkering, in fact, show an interest in whatever it is)
*Stop thinking that if only he would do this or that my problems would be solved
*Never, EVER, EVER belittle my husband in public
*Make him my best friend
*When something needs to be discussed, speaking the truth in love applies most of all to my husband
*Sex- the more, the better- need I say more? (ha, you thought I forgot!)

I'm sure there are many more. I've found it helpful to focus on one aspect that I believe I need to work on and just do that for a time.

"Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me, and I in him, he bears much fruit; for apart from Me you can do nothing". John 15:4&5

We cannot do the impossible without abiding in the LORD of the possible!

Brokenness post script

Imagine (ok, jessi, i know that's a stretch :)) my excitement when I discovered how concisely Beth Moore summarized what I tried to say in my comment on my last post about brokenness versus destruction, about Satan wanting to destroy and Christ wanting to use brokenness.

On page 53 of "Jesus the One and Only", Beth says EXACTLY what I was thinking about God's brokenness vs. Satan's brokenness. It is so important I'm going to quote it here:
"...heavy-duty oppression, which in essence is external oppression with the intent of breaking its object, is Satan's counterfeit for brokenness.
At times I've fought back the tears as I've heard testimonies of people who had been utterly unable to function, describing themselves as broken by God. I don't think God's brand of brokenness is total emotional wreckage. God's intent in breaking us is bending our stiff knees so that we will submit to Hs authority and take on His yoke. His aim is our abundant and effective life. Being totally unable to function because the mind and emotions are in shambles is Satan's counterfeit. Praise God, Christ can certainly use Satan's counterfeit brokenness to bring us to a place of accepting His own, but I think we credit some things to Christ that He didn't do."

That quote totally sums up my contemplation about the difference.

Brokenness

I've been reading "Brokenness" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss the last few days. This is actually the second time I've read it. She contrasts the broken person to the unbroken. When I see that fear, loneliness, bondage, bad relationships, communication issues, generation gaps, unresolved conflicts, self-focus, hypocrisy and, yes, even shyness are all caused by pride (the opposite of brokenness), my heart cries out to be broken. I know that the only way for true revival in my heart is to be completely empty of self. God cannot use my religiousness, my outward attempts of righteousness. He wants my humble, contrite, broken heart.

But...am I truly willing to let my heart be broken. I really DO want a deep sense of peace and joy, but can I get myself out of the way, can I let go of the control I think I have? Can I honestly say, "break me, LORD"? Because true brokenness before God involves a constant, daily, minute-by-minute way of life. It is agreeing with God about the condition of my heart. It is destroying my self-will, my self-reliance, my hard heart. I have to know that the outcome far outweighs the process; God has promised me that.

And so...I can say, "yes, LORD, break me".

I think ;)...

A really great quote from the book:
"...the broken, contrite heart is easily molded by the hand of God and does not harden itself against the circumstances God chooses to mold it".

Summer's End

Summer, in our home, is officially over. School has officially started as of today. I jealously guard the days of summer and do not consider it finished until Labor Day. We have always started school the day after Labor Day. I sometimes kind of dread the thought of school starting up, but when the day actually arrives, I enjoy it. We get back to a stricter schedule and it seems like I get more accomplished.

Adam graduated from high school this past spring so now it's just the younger three. Even that is somewhat different because Colin enrolled at Sinclair this fall for his junior year; he will only be doing 2 subjects at home this year. Brooke is starting her Freshman year and Laina is in 6th grade. My goodness, where did the years go? This is the start of our 12th year of homeschooling. When I think how fast that time went, I'm sure the next 6 years will go even faster. Then what will I do with myself??

Things I Learned This Summer:

~smart boss + smart employee = profit
~smart boss + dumb employee = production
~dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
~dumb boss + dumb empoyee = overtime

~a man will pay $2 for a $2 item he needs
~a woman will pay $3 for a $2 item she doesn't need

~to be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little
~to be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all

~a woman has the last word in any argument; anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument

~at age 4...success is...not peeing in your pants
~at age 12...success is...having friends
~at age 16...success is...having a driver's license
~at age 25...success is...having sex when married
~at age 35...success is...having money
~at age 50...success is...having money
~at age 60...success is...having sex when married
~at age 70...success is...having a driver's license
~at age 75...success is...having friends
~at age 80...success is...not peeing in your pants