Thursday, December 4, 2008

Mind Your Manners

With all of the family gatherings, holiday get-togethers and Christmas dinners approaching, it might be necessary to focus on dinner table manners with our families.

Mealtimes in the Yost home have always been an important part of our day. It is the time of the day when we sit down as a family and connect with one another. To make that hour as pleasant as possible, we spent a season when the kids were little reminding them of acceptable mealtime behavior.

We've all spent time sitting across a table with children who were eating like cavemen. They couldn't sit still, they slurped, they used their fingers, they interrupted, they reached, and yes, sometimes burped. This type of conduct was totally unacceptable when I was a child.

Somewhere along the line, I'm afraid we've forgotten to teach our kids the polite way to eat. We figured that once they had mastered picking up food themselves and getting it in their mouths instead of their hair, our job was finished. It could partly be because as a culture, we've made dinner a casual affair.

Families used to eat dinner together, and not just once a week, but the majority of the evenings. Today, because of schedules, we sit down, we inhale, we get up. Studies show that eating together as a family has awesome benefits. Teens who eat dinner with their families at least five times a week are less likely to do drugs or be depressed, and are more likely to do well in school. (Research by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse) Kids who never eat with their parents are 60% more likely to smoke or drink. It only makes sense that dinner is one of those opportunities to be together and actually talk. Kids internalize the message of Christ when they see us together as a family and living it out. Eating together provides a time to talk with our kids about their day. It gives us opportunity to keep up with what they are thinking and doing.

So now that we have established the necessity of a family mealtime, wouldn't it be more enjoyable if our children knew how to act properly at the table? It starts with setting the table. Even the youngest can be taught the proper way to set a place setting. Train them to do it properly. I know it seems like a minor detail, but it's the beginning of decorum. If it helps, draw the outlines of the plate, cup, knife, spoon and fork on paper and laminate it. They will feel really important at being able to do this on their own. Moms, if you don't know yourself, google it. :) Napkins are a vital piece of an enjoyable meal. Teach your kids to use it instead of their sleeves! Other important etiquette rules are elbows off the table, please chew with your mouth shut, sit still in your chair, no eating with fingers, use utensils properly, take turns speaking. It's a time to learn to listen quietly when another person is speaking.

This might all seem like a small piece of a child's training, but it pertains to respect, honor and courtesy. It will carry over to other areas of their lives.

When children sit at dinner respectfully, the time together is more enjoyable for everyone. It will take consistency, discipline and patience, but the dividends will be worth it. Just ask your relatives who may have to eat with your barbaric offspring at the next Christmas dinner.

12 comments:

JanAl said...

Funny, I changed the appearance of my blog last nlight, and woke up this morning to find a couple of others changed this morning also, isn't that funny how that works! :}
Anyways.. tell me it gets better, I feel like I spend the whole dinner hour repeating myself. For me, chewing/talking with food in your mouth, is disgusting, but I feel like I remind one of them about every 10 seconds. I also feel bad for Elijah, he gets talked to about it the most, but I truly believe that he has a hard time breathing out his nose, and that makes it hard for him to close his mouth and chew. My dad also had the same problem. Even though I get upset with him, because it looks awful, it is hard because I believe it is difficult for him, and others might think that he chews like a cow!

Charity said...

One thing I have a hard time with is kids who slurp down their food and then get up from the table after about 5 minutes . .. .or don't even finish their food but continually leave and the return to the table for another bite. I was raised in an environment where we had to ask to be excused before leaving the table, so we've continued this habit with our own kiddos, and i've really enjoyed the opportunity to sit down with them at the table and have a conversation, now that they're getting old enough to make things really interesting. :)

(On a side note: I'm wondering what kinds of experiences you've had lately to inspire such a post!)

Kati said...

Gee, Margaret, this wasn't inspired by a LIFE group discussion a few weeks ago, was it?

I know, kids sitting on their haunches doesn't make the cut at your table. We're still battling it. I agree with much of what you had to say--I do believe table manners will overflow onto how they behave at other times.

Sometimes I just don't know how hard to push, how high a standard to expect, or how to determine what's really important in the whole scheme of things.

sigh.

Margaret said...

no, no, no, kati!! this was not inspired IN ANY WAY by LIFE group!

ask me at church and i'll tell you what prompted my thoughts. :)

Anonymous said...

i am confused by something here....

this is the first day that i've been able to see or post comments on your blog. i thought perhaps you'd changed your blog specifically to not allow comments or something, but now i see that others have posted comments as far back as december 5?!

am i crazy? did i miss something?

Margaret said...

hmmm, dee...i'm not sure...maybe you really are crazy. :)
i did some changing on my blog about that time, but i didn't think i changed any settings like that, but who knows...maybe i'm the crazy one. :)
nicole messed around on my blog today, so something must have changed then...i dunno

Anonymous said...

your background was green with a winter scene at the top, too. it was like that for DAYS. sound familiar at all?

Margaret said...

seriously, dee, i think you might need to see a dr. about your poor mind...i do believe it's going fast! green?? i don't see any green. :)

Margaret said...

oh wait! yes...a little green. your mind isn't all the way gone! :)

Anonymous said...

no, no, no - i mean back when i couldn't post a comment or see anyone else's comments.....that's when your background was green with a beautiful blueish winter scene at the top of your blog.

ok now - yesterday your background was white. today it's dark and filled with colored snowflakes that make it difficult to read anything. did you do that?

are you messing with me, margaret????

Margaret said...

difficult to read anything?? not only is your mind crazy, you also need to get your eyes checked! :)

(i really shouldn't be doing this to you...you don't know me well enough to know how wacky i can be :))

Anonymous said...

:p