While Momma's away....the mice do play!!!
I have one pretty amazing daughter wouldn't you say!!
8 years ago
Friday, September 24, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
The Child-Centered Home
A child-centered home is one in which the interests and activities of the child/children are at the center of where the adult members revolve. The adults in the family submit their schedules, activities and conversations to that of the child.
It is extremely important for children to learn at a very young age (probably younger than we even realize) that they are a part of something much bigger and greater than themselves. Children learn very quickly how much influence they have.
The most basic, God-ordained relationship is not the parent/child, but instead the husband/wife relationship. In our world today, that is often not the case. Parents seem to be living FOR their children. Everything- schedules, conversations, activities, goals, interests- has been about the kids. They face the empty nest years with panic because the foundation of their relationship has revolved around the children; they suddenly realize that all they have is their meaningless husband/wife relationship. So many couples are bewildered, after being married 7-10 years, at the lack of love they “feel”. They wake up and realize their lives have completely revolved around the kids, that the children are dictating the schedule, including how much time the parents spend together as a couple. They have become so child-centered that they don't have time for each other. The marriage will suffer and maybe even end because of it.
What are some possible signs of a child-centered home? Notice the word 'possible'. Not all of these things are bad, but when they are out-of-balance, they are fairly good indicators.
~Allowing kids to interrupt adult conversation
~Hovering over your kids-they will hurt themselves and break things; give them some space.
~Refusing to leave kids with sitters or if you do, micro-managing the sitter
~Permitting children to manipulate to get their own way
~Making excuses for disobedient behavior
~Letting them dictate meal times and bedtime. To a degree, kids' physical needs are different than an adults, but your whole world need not grind to a halt for the sake of a few minutes. They probably won't die if they must wait to eat or go to bed.
~Allowing child's schedule to dictate the entire family's schedule. Be very cautious of activities that consistently keep your family from Sunday worship.
~Refusing to let them cry
~Becoming your child's friend instead of authority figure
Your child will become very adept at making you feel guilty for not keeping him/her the center of attention. Very young children will cry when you walk away from them. Older kids will whine and complain about what they don't get to do. I've never yet seen a child die from crying. It's okay to push aside your feelings of guilt; your children will survive and be better for it. John Rosemond once wrote, "Some parents act as if they took a wedding vow that says, 'I take thee to be my husband/wife, until children do us part.'" Sad, but so often true. Your child has joined your home for a few brief years, but your marriage will be there long after they're gone, IF you've given it priority.
A marriage-centered home (with Christ at the very core) is crucial in those years when there are many little feet running around. What we don't realize is that the very thing we want our children to have-a secure home environment-will happen only when they realize they live with a mom and dad who love each other. This knowledge will produce the stability your kids are looking for. Children need to see parents who know how to live and love together.
It is so easy to become parents and put our marriages on the back burner. It is crucial for our children to take their proper place in the home. (Our children are very used to the phrase, “Dad's the king; Mom's the queen; deal with it”). That happens when we are intentional about our marriages. It is important to connect daily. Even 15 minutes of “Mom & Dad time” when he gets home from work is vital to this connection. Dating regularly is critical to a growing relationship. Why do we date before marriage and quit after the wedding? It doesn't have to be some big thing; coffee or ice cream & a walk is wonderful. Do fun things together, whatever that might be for you. Be affectionate to each other with physical touch. Your kids might act grossed out and tell you to “get a room”, but down inside they feel secure at knowing they have parents who love each other. Be interested in what interests your spouse. Not because you necessarily are, but because you love him.
We should be training our children to leave the home and when that time comes, we should be looking forward to it. If we consider our marriages to be the most basic, God-ordained relationship, we will be okay with an empty nest. (Personally, I'm very excited about that prospect). :)
It is extremely important for children to learn at a very young age (probably younger than we even realize) that they are a part of something much bigger and greater than themselves. Children learn very quickly how much influence they have.
The most basic, God-ordained relationship is not the parent/child, but instead the husband/wife relationship. In our world today, that is often not the case. Parents seem to be living FOR their children. Everything- schedules, conversations, activities, goals, interests- has been about the kids. They face the empty nest years with panic because the foundation of their relationship has revolved around the children; they suddenly realize that all they have is their meaningless husband/wife relationship. So many couples are bewildered, after being married 7-10 years, at the lack of love they “feel”. They wake up and realize their lives have completely revolved around the kids, that the children are dictating the schedule, including how much time the parents spend together as a couple. They have become so child-centered that they don't have time for each other. The marriage will suffer and maybe even end because of it.
What are some possible signs of a child-centered home? Notice the word 'possible'. Not all of these things are bad, but when they are out-of-balance, they are fairly good indicators.
~Allowing kids to interrupt adult conversation
~Hovering over your kids-they will hurt themselves and break things; give them some space.
~Refusing to leave kids with sitters or if you do, micro-managing the sitter
~Permitting children to manipulate to get their own way
~Making excuses for disobedient behavior
~Letting them dictate meal times and bedtime. To a degree, kids' physical needs are different than an adults, but your whole world need not grind to a halt for the sake of a few minutes. They probably won't die if they must wait to eat or go to bed.
~Allowing child's schedule to dictate the entire family's schedule. Be very cautious of activities that consistently keep your family from Sunday worship.
~Refusing to let them cry
~Becoming your child's friend instead of authority figure
Your child will become very adept at making you feel guilty for not keeping him/her the center of attention. Very young children will cry when you walk away from them. Older kids will whine and complain about what they don't get to do. I've never yet seen a child die from crying. It's okay to push aside your feelings of guilt; your children will survive and be better for it. John Rosemond once wrote, "Some parents act as if they took a wedding vow that says, 'I take thee to be my husband/wife, until children do us part.'" Sad, but so often true. Your child has joined your home for a few brief years, but your marriage will be there long after they're gone, IF you've given it priority.
A marriage-centered home (with Christ at the very core) is crucial in those years when there are many little feet running around. What we don't realize is that the very thing we want our children to have-a secure home environment-will happen only when they realize they live with a mom and dad who love each other. This knowledge will produce the stability your kids are looking for. Children need to see parents who know how to live and love together.
It is so easy to become parents and put our marriages on the back burner. It is crucial for our children to take their proper place in the home. (Our children are very used to the phrase, “Dad's the king; Mom's the queen; deal with it”). That happens when we are intentional about our marriages. It is important to connect daily. Even 15 minutes of “Mom & Dad time” when he gets home from work is vital to this connection. Dating regularly is critical to a growing relationship. Why do we date before marriage and quit after the wedding? It doesn't have to be some big thing; coffee or ice cream & a walk is wonderful. Do fun things together, whatever that might be for you. Be affectionate to each other with physical touch. Your kids might act grossed out and tell you to “get a room”, but down inside they feel secure at knowing they have parents who love each other. Be interested in what interests your spouse. Not because you necessarily are, but because you love him.
We should be training our children to leave the home and when that time comes, we should be looking forward to it. If we consider our marriages to be the most basic, God-ordained relationship, we will be okay with an empty nest. (Personally, I'm very excited about that prospect). :)
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
The Power of the Cross
I cannot get the words of this Keith & Kristyn Getty hymn out of my mind this morning, nor do I want to.
Verse 1: Oh, to see the dawn of the darkest day;
Christ on the road to Calvary.
Tried by sinful men, torn and beaten, then
Nailed to a cross of wood.
Verse 2: Oh, to see the pain written on your face,
Bearing the awesome weight of sin.
Every bitter thought, every evil deed
Crowning Your blood-stained brow.
Verse 3: Now the daylight flees; now the ground beneath
Quakes as its Maker bows His head.
Curtain torn in two, dead are raised to life;
"Finished!", the victory cry.
Chorus: This, the power of the cross:
Christ became sin for us;
Took the blame, bore the wrath,
We stand forgiven at the cross.
Verse 4: Oh, to see my name written in the wounds,
For through Your suffering I am free.
Death is crushed to death; life is mine to live,
Won through Your selfless love.
Chorus: This, the power of the cross:
Son of God, slain for us.
What a love! What a cost!
We stand forgiven at the cross.
Jesus was delivered to His tormentors to be scourged. Our human, finite minds cannot grasp the awfulness of what that was. The Roman scourge was an instrument of torture. It was made out of the sinew of oxen and intertwined with bits of bone; every time that lash came down on the back of our Lord these bones inflicted deep lacerations and tore the flesh off. No doubt Jesus was tied to a column of some sort for this beating. This picture of my Savior leaves me horrified and weeping over His body. As a believer, can I truly grasp such agonizing love? As a believer, I can claim the verse in Isaiah 53, "With His stripes we are healed"! What hope and love wells up in me!
I go to commune with Him tonight knowing and sorrowing that my sin cost Him so dearly- and yet! rejoicing in my deliverance and knowing I am complete in Him. Because He was numbered among the transgressors and because I am truly saved, I am numbered among the believers in Christ.
Where are you in regards to the cross? Are you content to follow from behind, curious but not committed? Are you ok with contemplating Christ but never communing with Him? Have your sins kept you separated from Him? Is your heart at rest? Can you live contentedly without the present enjoyment in the Savior? Do you sorrow over the hardness of your heart? If yes, then Go To The Cross! It is only there that you will find answers. No matter how hard, how insensitive, how dead you have become, you can be made clean in the fountain that flows with His shed blood. By His stripes, you are healed and by His power over death you are made alive!
Hosea 10: 12- "...For it is time to seek the Lord..."
It's Friday, but Sunday is coming!
Verse 1: Oh, to see the dawn of the darkest day;
Christ on the road to Calvary.
Tried by sinful men, torn and beaten, then
Nailed to a cross of wood.
Verse 2: Oh, to see the pain written on your face,
Bearing the awesome weight of sin.
Every bitter thought, every evil deed
Crowning Your blood-stained brow.
Verse 3: Now the daylight flees; now the ground beneath
Quakes as its Maker bows His head.
Curtain torn in two, dead are raised to life;
"Finished!", the victory cry.
Chorus: This, the power of the cross:
Christ became sin for us;
Took the blame, bore the wrath,
We stand forgiven at the cross.
Verse 4: Oh, to see my name written in the wounds,
For through Your suffering I am free.
Death is crushed to death; life is mine to live,
Won through Your selfless love.
Chorus: This, the power of the cross:
Son of God, slain for us.
What a love! What a cost!
We stand forgiven at the cross.
Jesus was delivered to His tormentors to be scourged. Our human, finite minds cannot grasp the awfulness of what that was. The Roman scourge was an instrument of torture. It was made out of the sinew of oxen and intertwined with bits of bone; every time that lash came down on the back of our Lord these bones inflicted deep lacerations and tore the flesh off. No doubt Jesus was tied to a column of some sort for this beating. This picture of my Savior leaves me horrified and weeping over His body. As a believer, can I truly grasp such agonizing love? As a believer, I can claim the verse in Isaiah 53, "With His stripes we are healed"! What hope and love wells up in me!
I go to commune with Him tonight knowing and sorrowing that my sin cost Him so dearly- and yet! rejoicing in my deliverance and knowing I am complete in Him. Because He was numbered among the transgressors and because I am truly saved, I am numbered among the believers in Christ.
Where are you in regards to the cross? Are you content to follow from behind, curious but not committed? Are you ok with contemplating Christ but never communing with Him? Have your sins kept you separated from Him? Is your heart at rest? Can you live contentedly without the present enjoyment in the Savior? Do you sorrow over the hardness of your heart? If yes, then Go To The Cross! It is only there that you will find answers. No matter how hard, how insensitive, how dead you have become, you can be made clean in the fountain that flows with His shed blood. By His stripes, you are healed and by His power over death you are made alive!
Hosea 10: 12- "...For it is time to seek the Lord..."
It's Friday, but Sunday is coming!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
A Most Important Question
What must I do to be saved?
That question was asked by the 1st century jailer of Paul & Silas and it still remains for us to ask today. We are troubled by our failures and our consciences bother us; we wonder what can rescue us from our fallen condition.
Their answer to the jailer was quite simple: "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved".
What does that mean to us today? We must turn away from our race towards hell & destruction and turn TO God in Christ. Turning from our life of selfishness is to repent of the sins that have kept us from belief; turning to God in Christ is trusting in Christ as an actual person who completed His God-sent mission of an awful, violent death on the cross to release the penalty of sin.
We are the prodigal son/daughter who realizes that we can't do this thing called life on our own and we turn back and run to the Father's open arms. We cannot continue to run to God and run to sin at the same time.
Does that mean we will never sin again? Absolutely not! But it will be against our better judgment and deepest longings. Sin will no longer dominate us. As a child of God, we will be obedient to repentance and will put our complete faith and trust in Him and His Word.
How do we know if we are thus saved? Faith is a gift that God gives us; we can't grow our own faith, but we can grow in godliness. The evidence of our salvation will be lived out in us through the filling of the Holy Spirit. A continual examination of our hearts will be needed to see if we are growing or not. Disciplining ourselves to studying God's word is necessary so that we can rightly discern the condition of our hearts. Are our lives filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness & discipline? Or are they characterized by immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, strife, jealousy, anger, etc?
Salvation is past, present and future. We have been saved from the punishment of our sins; we are being saved from the power of sin and we will be saved when we are with Christ bowing at the feet of our heavenly Father.
What must YOU do to be saved?
That question was asked by the 1st century jailer of Paul & Silas and it still remains for us to ask today. We are troubled by our failures and our consciences bother us; we wonder what can rescue us from our fallen condition.
Their answer to the jailer was quite simple: "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved".
What does that mean to us today? We must turn away from our race towards hell & destruction and turn TO God in Christ. Turning from our life of selfishness is to repent of the sins that have kept us from belief; turning to God in Christ is trusting in Christ as an actual person who completed His God-sent mission of an awful, violent death on the cross to release the penalty of sin.
We are the prodigal son/daughter who realizes that we can't do this thing called life on our own and we turn back and run to the Father's open arms. We cannot continue to run to God and run to sin at the same time.
Does that mean we will never sin again? Absolutely not! But it will be against our better judgment and deepest longings. Sin will no longer dominate us. As a child of God, we will be obedient to repentance and will put our complete faith and trust in Him and His Word.
How do we know if we are thus saved? Faith is a gift that God gives us; we can't grow our own faith, but we can grow in godliness. The evidence of our salvation will be lived out in us through the filling of the Holy Spirit. A continual examination of our hearts will be needed to see if we are growing or not. Disciplining ourselves to studying God's word is necessary so that we can rightly discern the condition of our hearts. Are our lives filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness & discipline? Or are they characterized by immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, strife, jealousy, anger, etc?
Salvation is past, present and future. We have been saved from the punishment of our sins; we are being saved from the power of sin and we will be saved when we are with Christ bowing at the feet of our heavenly Father.
What must YOU do to be saved?
Thursday, February 4, 2010
A Mom's Heart
How does a mom blog about some of the most momentous occasions in her life? I don't know how many times I've had a new blog window open, only to sit and stare at an empty white box; the words just wouldn't come. Last year held more changes than any year I can remember so far.
Last April 1, Adam & Heidi announced their engagement with an August 1 wedding date. Yikes! Four months to prepare. We did it and it was gorgeous, exciting, fulfilling and fun.
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Words are a feeble attempt to describe my heart...my mom heart. It's hard to comprehend my first-born son being a husband.
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My prayer is that as he faces the challenges that are sure to come, he will frequently fall on his knees before an Almighty, Holy God petitioning for the Spirit to give him the capacity to love his wife as Christ loves the church.
I love Heidi with the love a mom has for a daughter.
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I pray that whatever circumstances she is faced with that God, through the work of the Spirit, will help her to reverence, with an awe-filled respect, the man He has given to her.
It was with great joy that Jerald & I were able to pronounce a parental blessing on their union.
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Also on April 1, Colin had an accident at work that put a bolt through his hand.
Talk about jolting a heart to get that call. It just hurts to know my kids are in that much pain...hurts my mom heart. Praise God he's doing well, although the scar is very visible and he hasn't gotten complete mobility back.
In September, Nicole started school at Azusa Pacific University in the northeast corner of Los Angeles.
We are extremely excited for this opportunity Nicole has to spread her wings and see what God has in store for her.
We decided to take the family and drive with her to California.
It was a very pleasurable 2 1/2 day drive. We were able to see God's awesome and diverse creation.
The first weekend we helped her get settled in
and spent orientation with her.
We got to meet her 3 roomies; how comforting and reassuring to my heart...my mom heart to see her ready to tackle whatever God has in store.
After leaving Nicole there, we headed to the condo on the beach that we had rented for a week.
What a joy it was to my heart...my mom heart to see the family have such a great time together.
On top of an extremely full year, I now get to look forward to more changes. This May, we are looking forward to welcoming our new granddaughter into the family. My heart will soon become...my "nana" heart.
And THAT will be a blog all of its own.
Last April 1, Adam & Heidi announced their engagement with an August 1 wedding date. Yikes! Four months to prepare. We did it and it was gorgeous, exciting, fulfilling and fun.
.jpg)
Words are a feeble attempt to describe my heart...my mom heart. It's hard to comprehend my first-born son being a husband.
.jpg)
My prayer is that as he faces the challenges that are sure to come, he will frequently fall on his knees before an Almighty, Holy God petitioning for the Spirit to give him the capacity to love his wife as Christ loves the church.
I love Heidi with the love a mom has for a daughter.
.jpg)
I pray that whatever circumstances she is faced with that God, through the work of the Spirit, will help her to reverence, with an awe-filled respect, the man He has given to her.
It was with great joy that Jerald & I were able to pronounce a parental blessing on their union.
.jpg)
Also on April 1, Colin had an accident at work that put a bolt through his hand.
Talk about jolting a heart to get that call. It just hurts to know my kids are in that much pain...hurts my mom heart. Praise God he's doing well, although the scar is very visible and he hasn't gotten complete mobility back.
In September, Nicole started school at Azusa Pacific University in the northeast corner of Los Angeles.
We are extremely excited for this opportunity Nicole has to spread her wings and see what God has in store for her.
We decided to take the family and drive with her to California.
It was a very pleasurable 2 1/2 day drive. We were able to see God's awesome and diverse creation.
The first weekend we helped her get settled in
and spent orientation with her.
We got to meet her 3 roomies; how comforting and reassuring to my heart...my mom heart to see her ready to tackle whatever God has in store.
After leaving Nicole there, we headed to the condo on the beach that we had rented for a week.
What a joy it was to my heart...my mom heart to see the family have such a great time together.
On top of an extremely full year, I now get to look forward to more changes. This May, we are looking forward to welcoming our new granddaughter into the family. My heart will soon become...my "nana" heart.
And THAT will be a blog all of its own.
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