I recently read a book excerpt in Reader's Digest with the title, The Superior Wife Syndrome; the sub-title was: Why Women Do Everything So Well and Why-For the Sake of Our Marriages-We've Got to Stop.
THAT definitely piqued my interest.
The excerpt said:
"After being married for a while, and especially after having children, a large number of husbands deliberately surrender family concerns and responsibilities and begin to expect their wives to take charge. And in many marriages, that assignment eventually includes nearly everything. It's as if husbands raise the art of oblivion to new heights; they can fiddle, while wives burn through most of the tasks of adult life. Some wives claim that they have taken control of family life because 'it seems like I have no choice, it's just a natural occurrence', as a 42-year-old woman puts it. Others confess to being impressed that their husbands are able to function in the world at all...'I'm amazed he's still alive', says one wife."
Do you think husbands are deliberately surrendering control of the family? or
Do you think wives are taking that control by default because the husband is in la-la land?
Do you think wives are taking control because they feel they can do a better job?
Do husbands let go of leadership because they are too lazy to deal with it?
Are husbands truly oblivious to what needs done?
Is it unsubmissive for a wife to ask her husband to help?
What is the solution to a marriage with leadership issues?
5 years ago
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5 comments:
I knew someone who took up the slack when her husband started working longer hours. The more he worked, the more she did around the house and with this kids....He had so much extra time at work he found another woman who needed him.
The answer to the first 4 questions is YES. It goes back to Genesis 3 . . . the natural default for women is toi want to rule the roost, and the natural default for men is to let us! As for asking for help, I believe there is a submissive way (and an UNsubmissive way) to do so.
got me thinking... thanks 4 sharing!
I think Charity's answer is right on, and since the problems lie in Genesis with the Fall and resultant curse, the only hope is the Gospel of Jesus Christ that lifts the curse and overcomes the effects of the Fall.
But this is a long road requiring a lot of patience and forgiveness because our culture is very feminized (meaning that we raise men, in general, to be whining crybaby sissies who want to sleep til noon in their mom's basement and play x-box all night). This is the full life that feminists promised women. Aren't you thankful for them?
Interesting post and great comments. Amazingly insightful article for RD. I think that's practically epidemic among the people I know, and it's promoted in most books, movies, and TV shows. The myth of the Supermom is pervasive, and most women seem to believe that it's expected of them. I think it's rather a difficult balance to efficiently keep up with our responsibilities without taking over everything. And yes, I do believe that wives are the more responsible party. Men don't tend to abdicate responsibility if they feel needed.
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