Let the Wife see to it that she Reverence her Husband

This seems to be a topic of mine that surfaces on an extremely regular basis! I seriously lose track of the countless times I meditate on this thing of reverencing my husband! I don't know about the rest of you, but reverencing my husband does not come naturally! In fact, we're told in Gen. 3:16 that the woman's "desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." Translated, it means that the woman's desire will be to rule over her husband. It is only by daily (sometimes minute-by-minute) seeking of the LORD's help that I can even attempt this thing of reverence!

(By the way, I prefer to use the word reverence instead of respect; respect means to have esteem towards, to think highly of- which I can do towards any man who is worthy of it. But reverence? ahhh...now that's a much deeper word. It means a feeling or attitude of deep respect tinged with awe, a feeling of profound awe and love- it's the awe that makes the difference).

I would venture to say that most of us could say we respect our husbands, but do we reverence them?

Reverencing begins in the mind! "The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart."- Lu 6:45
If we start by revering our husbands in our thoughts, it will soon spill over into our speech! But if we think of them negatively, a critical spirit or words will follow. WE CANNOT BE OUR HUSBAND'S HOLY SPIRIT!
I read somewhere a long time ago that we must give God the negatives and give our husbands the positives.

Practically speaking, how can we do this? How can we systematically exercise the command in Eph. 5:33?

Here's some things I have come up with:
*Release my expectations of what I think my husband should do or be to God
*LET him lead- it's OK if he makes mistakes
*Realize that he will never be perfect (look at myself, for pete's sake!)
*Encourage any and all attempts at spiritual leadership (did you know your husband feels very inadequate?)
*Make him KNOW and feel that he is my hero
*Praise him for his hard work and the money he provides for his family
*Actually, praise him for everything!
*Do not EVER be negative about finances; husbands take this personally
*Give him some space from my emotional chit-chatting
*Don't expect him to read my mind
*Let his home be his haven- do our husbands drag their feet about coming home because of the chaos & haggard-looking shrew they know they will find there?
*Being a content wife speaks volumes to our husbands
*LISTEN when he speaks; don't be so quick to jump in with my own comment or opinion
*Focus on what made me love him in the first place
*Stop focusing on what's "wrong" with him and find out what's wrong with myself
*Let him enjoy "guy" things without making him feel guilty that this somehow isn't "spiritual" (i.e.- football (fantasy or real), softball, bowling, fishing, tinkering, in fact, show an interest in whatever it is)
*Stop thinking that if only he would do this or that my problems would be solved
*Never, EVER, EVER belittle my husband in public
*Make him my best friend
*When something needs to be discussed, speaking the truth in love applies most of all to my husband
*Sex- the more, the better- need I say more? (ha, you thought I forgot!)

I'm sure there are many more. I've found it helpful to focus on one aspect that I believe I need to work on and just do that for a time.

"Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me, and I in him, he bears much fruit; for apart from Me you can do nothing". John 15:4&5

We cannot do the impossible without abiding in the LORD of the possible!

Brokenness post script

Imagine (ok, jessi, i know that's a stretch :)) my excitement when I discovered how concisely Beth Moore summarized what I tried to say in my comment on my last post about brokenness versus destruction, about Satan wanting to destroy and Christ wanting to use brokenness.

On page 53 of "Jesus the One and Only", Beth says EXACTLY what I was thinking about God's brokenness vs. Satan's brokenness. It is so important I'm going to quote it here:
"...heavy-duty oppression, which in essence is external oppression with the intent of breaking its object, is Satan's counterfeit for brokenness.
At times I've fought back the tears as I've heard testimonies of people who had been utterly unable to function, describing themselves as broken by God. I don't think God's brand of brokenness is total emotional wreckage. God's intent in breaking us is bending our stiff knees so that we will submit to Hs authority and take on His yoke. His aim is our abundant and effective life. Being totally unable to function because the mind and emotions are in shambles is Satan's counterfeit. Praise God, Christ can certainly use Satan's counterfeit brokenness to bring us to a place of accepting His own, but I think we credit some things to Christ that He didn't do."

That quote totally sums up my contemplation about the difference.

Brokenness

I've been reading "Brokenness" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss the last few days. This is actually the second time I've read it. She contrasts the broken person to the unbroken. When I see that fear, loneliness, bondage, bad relationships, communication issues, generation gaps, unresolved conflicts, self-focus, hypocrisy and, yes, even shyness are all caused by pride (the opposite of brokenness), my heart cries out to be broken. I know that the only way for true revival in my heart is to be completely empty of self. God cannot use my religiousness, my outward attempts of righteousness. He wants my humble, contrite, broken heart.

But...am I truly willing to let my heart be broken. I really DO want a deep sense of peace and joy, but can I get myself out of the way, can I let go of the control I think I have? Can I honestly say, "break me, LORD"? Because true brokenness before God involves a constant, daily, minute-by-minute way of life. It is agreeing with God about the condition of my heart. It is destroying my self-will, my self-reliance, my hard heart. I have to know that the outcome far outweighs the process; God has promised me that.

And so...I can say, "yes, LORD, break me".

I think ;)...

A really great quote from the book:
"...the broken, contrite heart is easily molded by the hand of God and does not harden itself against the circumstances God chooses to mold it".

Summer's End

Summer, in our home, is officially over. School has officially started as of today. I jealously guard the days of summer and do not consider it finished until Labor Day. We have always started school the day after Labor Day. I sometimes kind of dread the thought of school starting up, but when the day actually arrives, I enjoy it. We get back to a stricter schedule and it seems like I get more accomplished.

Adam graduated from high school this past spring so now it's just the younger three. Even that is somewhat different because Colin enrolled at Sinclair this fall for his junior year; he will only be doing 2 subjects at home this year. Brooke is starting her Freshman year and Laina is in 6th grade. My goodness, where did the years go? This is the start of our 12th year of homeschooling. When I think how fast that time went, I'm sure the next 6 years will go even faster. Then what will I do with myself??

Things I Learned This Summer:

~smart boss + smart employee = profit
~smart boss + dumb employee = production
~dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
~dumb boss + dumb empoyee = overtime

~a man will pay $2 for a $2 item he needs
~a woman will pay $3 for a $2 item she doesn't need

~to be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little
~to be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all

~a woman has the last word in any argument; anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument

~at age 4...success is...not peeing in your pants
~at age 12...success is...having friends
~at age 16...success is...having a driver's license
~at age 25...success is...having sex when married
~at age 35...success is...having money
~at age 50...success is...having money
~at age 60...success is...having sex when married
~at age 70...success is...having a driver's license
~at age 75...success is...having friends
~at age 80...success is...not peeing in your pants

Shoes

I'm going to confess right up front that this is going to be an extremely shallow blog! :)

I LOVE shoes (& bags). I always have, even though I know very good and well what THE BOOK says about love and who we are supposed to love. So you all understand it's not THAT kind of love. It's a shallow love.

Which leads me to this bumper sticker on Nicole's Facebook that made me laugh:

Waiting

...accompanied with patience, has never been one of my dominant virtues. I'm more inclined towards doing, producing, gitterdone, the quicker the better. I especially get impatient when I have to wait on people. In fact, I stopped praying for patience awhile back because God kept inserting opportunites for me to display it towards my children. :)

But, waiting is so often what God calls me to do- waiting with patience. My humanness tells me I am being unproductive if I am sitting still. Sometimes my prayers can be more of a frantic desperation that God do something NOW. My heart can actually feel tight and squeezed when I don't see anything happening.

In the past several months I believe God has been speaking to me through His Word about this subject of waiting patiently:

Psalm 25:4&5- "Make me know Your ways, O LORD; teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You I wait all the day."
(I must insert here a great big thank you to Jessi for directing me to these verses in regards to my children. She has no idea how much this has blessed me. I want to pass it along: whenever the word 'me' is used in these verses, insert a child's name. I love you, Jessi!)

Psalm 27:14- "Wait for the LORD; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the LORD."

Psalm 37:7- "Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him..."

Psalm 62:5-8- "My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be shaken. On God my salvation and my glory rest; the rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us."

Isaiah 40:31- "...yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary."

Acts 1:4- "And gathering them together, He commanded them not to leave Jerusalem, but to wait for what the Father had promised..." (read the rest of this passage)

Titus 2:13- "...waiting (looking) for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Saviour, Christ Jesus..."

Believers seeking to glorify God will simply wait. It is in waiting that God will bring about my sanctification through spiritual growth; it is in waiting that I am actually given new strength. He does not want me waiting with a sense of quiet desperation, but with a courage that He is my hope and salvation. God is a very patient potter, smoothing out my rough edges through sanctifying grace, settling my soul to trust in God that He is exercising His perfect will- even in those areas where I wait...and wait...and wait...

And so, maybe I now have the assurance to go back to praying for patience. :)

And a great big, full-of-love HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the most important man in my life!

Truth

"I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth." 3 John 4

Colin reading his testimony.



"I have been raised in a Christian home with parents who loved me and taught me about God and His love all of my life. I have known about Jesus for all of my 16 years.

About two years ago I realized that just knowing who Christ is wasn’t enough; I needed a personal relationship with Christ. I needed to really know Him. I confessed that I was a sinner; I needed Christ and His redemptive power of the Cross to wash and make me clean.

Titus 3:4-7 says “But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but because of His mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, that being justified by His grace we might be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.”

I have submitted to Christ and His finished work on the cross. I believe that I will never be good enough or be able to do enough for salvation, that it is my faith in Christ and nothing else that saves me. It is this same faith that makes me part of His body.

I want to be baptized to show the world that my belief in an awesome and powerful God is real, that He will love me even through the process of growing in His grace. Baptism, for me, makes me accountable to other believers because it is an outward confession of what is in my heart."




What an awesome day to experience the 4th baptism in our family. God's blessings are too numerous to count! One thing that is very clear to us as parents is even though we don't always agree with the choices our children make, we NEVER doubt that they love Jesus and sincerely desire to serve Him.

God is good all the time!